Tuesday, March 18, 2008
not worth a title
i had to pick up the mail this morning from our p.o. box at the downtown post office. when i was leaving, there was a homeless man lying on the grass, sleeping. and my thoughts weren't how sad, can i help, or some people tell me they actually wonder what decisions he made to get where he is. my thoughts, how can this guy sleep on dew covered grass at 7:45 in the morning with no shoes or socks on, there is no way i could do that. i then felt bad for having no soul.
so i'm in this funk, the game on sunday really messed me up, i haven't been like this for a long, long time. i am hard on myself when it comes to how i perform on the field, but i usually get over it. i think it is the fact that, that is how i said goodbye to playing the game i love at a competitive level, a non-start three goal effort. i usually love st. pats day. i did nothing. i didn't wear green at any point, was invited out to a few places and parties, but i decided to stay home, drink and fall asleep at 10:00 on the couch. i even turned off my phone. i never do that. i rarely put it on silent, but i turned it off from 7:30 till i woke up at 1:00 from the couch and went to bed.
so enough downer talk, i don't know what else to say, i was going to put something chipper, but gave up.
so i'm in this funk, the game on sunday really messed me up, i haven't been like this for a long, long time. i am hard on myself when it comes to how i perform on the field, but i usually get over it. i think it is the fact that, that is how i said goodbye to playing the game i love at a competitive level, a non-start three goal effort. i usually love st. pats day. i did nothing. i didn't wear green at any point, was invited out to a few places and parties, but i decided to stay home, drink and fall asleep at 10:00 on the couch. i even turned off my phone. i never do that. i rarely put it on silent, but i turned it off from 7:30 till i woke up at 1:00 from the couch and went to bed.
so enough downer talk, i don't know what else to say, i was going to put something chipper, but gave up.
// posted by Fishy @ 9:12 AM 
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We shouldn't be happy all of the time because the unhappiness makes us appreciate the happiness even more. Plus unhappiness can be motivating, it makes you examine your life so you can make changes to improve your life. It still fucking sucks though, I have been struggling lately myself.
I have also had similar thoughts when seeing Homeless people as well, it is heart breaking to see someone get to that point and it makes me wonder what their story is.
The other day when I was walking back from Irenes there was a homeless women who flagged me down and had a stack of poems she had written and photocopied in her hand and she told me that she was an undiscovered poet and started reading me her poems. At first I was thinking how long do I have to stand here and listen to this but then I actually started listening to her and it amazed me that her poetry was so positive and happy yet her life was so incredibly difficult. She asked for a donation of money or food but also said if I didnt have it it was fine and to please keep the poems. I gave her some money and she gave me a hug and I took her poems home with me.
I feel like you are on the brink of making a change in your life which might be partly where this funk is coming from. A fresh start, a new direction and focus might just be what you need. (That sounded like a fortune cookie didnt it?)
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I have also had similar thoughts when seeing Homeless people as well, it is heart breaking to see someone get to that point and it makes me wonder what their story is.
The other day when I was walking back from Irenes there was a homeless women who flagged me down and had a stack of poems she had written and photocopied in her hand and she told me that she was an undiscovered poet and started reading me her poems. At first I was thinking how long do I have to stand here and listen to this but then I actually started listening to her and it amazed me that her poetry was so positive and happy yet her life was so incredibly difficult. She asked for a donation of money or food but also said if I didnt have it it was fine and to please keep the poems. I gave her some money and she gave me a hug and I took her poems home with me.
I feel like you are on the brink of making a change in your life which might be partly where this funk is coming from. A fresh start, a new direction and focus might just be what you need. (That sounded like a fortune cookie didnt it?)
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